Much of our lives is spent “wrestling” with other people. Oftentimes we allow our moods and attitudes to be “controlled” by the actions of others. Whether they are family, friends, work colleagues or the person checking us out of the grocery store, we react to the way they speak to us, their gestures and their mannerisms with very little awareness of what is really taking place in the interaction. When we think this way it is very easy for us to blame others for our situations, feelings and experiences, however, there is much, much more we need to explore to understand what is really happening.
When someone’s attitude or approach appears to have a “detrimental” affect on us, we should remind ourselves that what we are experiencing is “the other person’s stuff” and not our own. It is important to have the awareness that others are walking their own independent journey and not allow any negative energy from them to reduce our own vibration which can keep us from moving forward in our journey. I’m sure you’ve heard many people say that keeping a positive attitude can “shield” you from much of the negativity in the world. Perhaps you’ve also been told to avoid negative people and “trim” negative people from your list of friends. While this is all good advice, there is another aspect of relationships that we should also consider; what we need to learn from the interaction itself.
Remember, there really are no accidents; each and every event, situation and, yes, relationship that comes into our lives occurs because we are bringing forth into our experience the things we need to help us along in our unique journey. The quote from Eckhart Tolle in the picture points out a very different way to look at relationships; they help us see things inside us that we need to heal.
When we quickly “absorb” someone’s energy and allow it to become our own, we are not conscious of our own, individual reaction to a situation, circumstance, event or emotion. There is a term in psychology & sociology which describes how people are influenced by the actions of those around them and will act without independent thought or judgement; it is called the “Mob or Herd Mentality.” What I am saying goes beyond acting on “auto pilot” for a short period of time when one is in a crowd. When we live life unaware and do not do our own “shadow” work, we limit ourselves by not addressing the things we need to heal and, as a result, hinder our inability to grow.
As with so many things in life, the most important thing to remember is balance. If you are in an abusive relationship, should you stay in it to “learn” something? Of course not, but, did you learn how to walk away from a relationship like that without feeling overwhelmingly lost because you were “alone?” Will you be able to recognize that type of relationship in the future and avoid being “sucked into” another similar situation?
Have you ever noticed that things / events / situations seem to repeat frequently in your life until one day, if by magic, that series of repetition ceases? The Universe know what you need to learn, grow and develop and it will continue to bring you the same lessons over and over again, in slightly different forms, until you “get it” and “pass the test.”
So take a look at your relationships. What patterns do you see? What things do you have to learn? What wounds do you need to heal?
You certainly will not have great relationships with friends that do not support your journey or understand the path your are choosing. Your “friends” that still want to party will not serve you well when you have decided to take more responsibility for your life and face your fear straight on rather than “escaping” into non-functioning adult time. You also cannot find the “person of your dreams”, your soul-mate or twin-flame until you have done a fairly significant portion of your shadow work and have clear intentions about what you want and what is important to you.
Relationships are excellent tools for our personal growth and life journey…all we have to do is be aware of the messages being sent to us through them.